Waa Waa

This is going to be a woe is me post. No need to read, I just need to get out this feelings.

Lately I feel like I am more of an annoyance to my friends here. Ever since the summer I just don't feel included. I am so lonely when Luther is gone and I was so glad to find someone as lonely as me. But she developed a strong friendship with this couple over the summer and now it's like I don't exist. I am to the point where I don't even want to try anymore. If Alexis didn't enjoy getting out of the house so much I wouldn't try. I would go back to staying home all day making friends online.

I never get invited to do anything anymore. Today I had to ask what was going on and decided to tag along. I really wish I hadn't, I just felt like I wasn't wanted there. I wish I could find a way to talk to this friend about how I feel without me sounding needy or like it is high school again.

I can't wait to visit my family. I need to be around people who I know love me. Who welcome me fully. Luther doesn't fully understand how desperately I need my family. I love being independent and secure on our feet here in Wyoming. But there are days like today when I would like to visit my mom and sister and have fun being ourselves. I need that so much.

I need to find me some good friends. I am too scared to do it. I am done feeling this way. I don't know how long I can take.