Sunday, January 23, 2011

Random thoughts

As a member of the online forum cafemom, I see petty arguments day in and day out. Whether it is over parenting practices or what people should be allowed to purchase on food stamps at the end of the day hours upon hours have been wasted becoming too emotional. I guess it is hard for me to picture grown women fuming as they type to strangers across the country. I understand being passionate about a cause but more times than not these "debates" result in name-calling and nip-picking by the grammar/spelling police.
I have had my share of being offended easily and then lashing out. I have since learned a little from those instances.

1. Nobody benefits from being mean. There are ALWAYS consequences for your actions. Whether it is the guilt you feel after being so rude, the embarrassment you have caused yourself by acting like a fool, or getting kicked out of a dance studio there are negative impacts.
2. 95% of the time you are overreacting. We as human beings base a lot of our actions on our emotions. When we are young our emotions are more difficult to deal with. Some (like me) are born with lower boiling points than others but with time we can try to better ourselves. I am learning to stop taking things so personal. I have learned the I am not the center of the universe and coming to grips with that has made me more calm.
3. Whatever you are yelling/fighting/being mean about is usually not worth the consequence you will receive.
4. Nobody likes an ugly attitude. Happy people are drawn to happy people. I would much rather have happy friends than negative downer friends.

If I had a time machine and could go back to my junior high and high school years, one thing I would do different is be kinder to everyone. For some reason I got this idea in my head that to be popular and liked, you had to be mean. (Most of the popular people were mean to me so maybe that is where I got the thought from.) It never occurred to me that having friends that treated me nice and I gave the same respect would be better than being well-known but hated. If anyone that I have hurt reads this, I am truly sorry. I was stupid and confused. I could go on all day about how it is so and so's fault for this and that person's fault for that. But at the end of the day I made that choice. It was MY actions that put me where I was at. We all have our vices and my temper is one that I am working on. I HATE the mean me, I HATE hurting people, and I HATE that negative feeling that comes when I give in and be a jerk.

In Relief society today we studied President Thomas S. Monson's talk during the Priesthood session this last conference. It was titled "The Three R's of Choice" President Monson teaches that we all have been given choices. These choices have three different aspects; right, responsibility, and result. We have the God giver RIGHT to make choices, the RESPONSIBILITY to make wise choices, and we have to live with the RESULTS of the choice we make.
I am going to make it a goal this week to ponder me choice. I am grateful for the right to make choices for me and my family, I will strive to be responsible in making my choices so they don't have a negative effect on myself or my family, and I will be aware of the results of my decisions this week.
I wish you all a fabulous week and hopefully will touch base with you again! :)